Forgive Me Trainer, For I Have Skipped
March 7, 2026
It was a Tuesday. The alarm rang at 5:30 AM, as it always does. But on this dark morning, something was different. The bed was warmer. The pillow was softer. And the Temple... the Temple seemed so very far away.
"Just today," I whispered to myself. "Just this once."
Brothers and sisters, I skipped.
I skipped not just any day. I skipped leg day.
The guilt did not come immediately. At first, there was only the warm embrace of my duvet, the soft glow of my phone screen, the mindless scroll through Instagram where others — better, more faithful lifters — were posting their morning PRs.
Then it hit me. Like a barbell loaded with shame, it came crashing down.
The Confession
I went to my trainer — Brother Mike, a saint among men, a prophet of progressive overload — and I confessed.
"Forgive me, Trainer, for I have skipped."
He looked at me with eyes that had seen a thousand excuses. Eyes that had witnessed bros claim "I trained legs yesterday" when the squat rack cameras showed otherwise.
"How long has it been since your last leg session?" he asked.
"...Twelve days."
A silence fell over the Temple. Somewhere, a dumbbell hit the floor.
The Penance
Brother Mike prescribed the following act of contrition:
- 5x5 Back Squats at 80% of my max
- 4x12 Bulgarian Split Squats (each leg, obviously)
- 4x15 Leg Press with a 3-second negative
- 3x20 Walking Lunges across the entire gym floor
- 100 Calf Raises — because calves are the Hail Marys of leg day
I completed every rep. My legs trembled. My soul was cleansed.
The Lesson
Missing a workout is human. We are all sinners in the eyes of the Iron. What matters is not that you fell — it is that you returned to the Temple and gave your penance in full.
If you are reading this and you, too, have skipped... know that redemption is always one squat away.
Go forth. Squat deep. And sin no more.