The One True Fitness Religion

Have You Accepted Gains as Your Lord and Savior?

Welcome to the Temple. We preach the gospel of squats, the scripture of progressive overload, and the holy truth that thou shalt never skip leg day.

What We Preach

Three pillars of the faith. Each one sacred. Each one gains.

Sacred blog posts, divine parables, and holy commandments to guide your fitness journey.

Holy workout plans from Sinner to Prophet. Follow the path. Trust the process.

Wear your faith. Spread the word. Look absolutely divine while deadlifting.

The sacred laws of leg day, handed down from the Temple of Iron. Break them at your own peril.

A tale of sin, shame, and squats. One lifter's journey back to the path of righteousness after skipping leg day.

The sacred origin story of fitness itself. How it all began, and the holy training split that was divinely ordained.

“I was lost in the wilderness of Planet Fitness. Then I found the Temple. Now I squat 405.”

Brother Marcus

Converted Sinner

“I used to skip leg day. Now I understand that was a mortal sin. Praise be to gains.”

Sister Angela

Prophet Level

“The Holy Water (protein shake) recipe alone was worth the Congregation membership.”

Brother Devon

Congregation Member

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